CHEESE

- A link-fest of strange articles about cheese, set to poetry.

Ode on the Mammoth Cheese Weighing over 7,000 pounds

James McIntyre

We have seen the Queen of Cheese,
Lying quietly at your ease,
Gently fanned by evening breeze,
Thy fair form no flies dare seize.

All gaily dressed soon you'll go
To the great Provincial show,
To be admired by many a beau
In the city of Toronto.

Cows numerous as a swarm of bees --
Or as the leaves upon the trees--
It did require to make thee please,
And stand unrivalled, Queen of Cheese.

May you not receive a scar as
We have heard that Mr. Harris
Intends to send you off as far as
The great World's show at Paris.

Of the youth -- beware of these--
For some of them might rudely squeeze
And bite your cheek, then songs or glees
We could not sing, o' Queen of Cheese.

We'rt thou suspended from balloon,
You'd cast a shade, even at noon;
Folks would think it was the moon
About to fall and crush them soon.


Analysis of the poem and subsequent links.
Poem
James McIntyre could give a Vogon a run for his money.

Links
Line 2 - I'd actually found this a few months back. (hangs head in shame) Yes. I've been watching cheese on the internet.
Line 3 - 2006 Ig Nobel Prize winner in Chemistry
Line 5 - Truly a very strange man.
Line 7 - Same strange man from line five. Apparently, covering Twiggy in cheese simply wasn't artistic enough.
Line 9 - Gotta love h2g2.

Line 10 - L. Frank Baum was imaginative. I've never read his works. Now that I know he has "cheese trees", I may never read them.
Line 12 - I just can't see it published as a children's book. A bit too... tragic? Or stinky?
Line 13 - He got PAID for HATING cheese. For $500, I could hate cheese. (Well, I could.)
Line 15 - The story that started it all. (see below)
Line 17 - If people would just snort cheese, we wouldn't have a drug problem in this country.
Line 19 - Strange people. Strange blog titles. (Oops. Guess I shouldn't criticize.)
Line 19/20 - Keith Moseley says the band name came from a fortune cookie. I think it's obvious that it was cheese inspired.
Line 21 - The reference I was looking for can be found at approximately 3:00 minutes in, but I enjoyed the entire thing, particularly the ending.
Line 23 - I always wondered about that!

And now I have to ask myself, which is more disturbing:

• that people have created multiple forms of art about (and out of) cheese (and in one case attempted murder - see line 17),
• that all of these things can be found on the Internet,
• or that upon hearing that a man has carved a replica of Mt. Rushmore out of cheese, my reaction was to create this post?

Personally, I'm a bit concerned about the last item.

I promise to provide a more intellectual and/or insightful post next time, or at the very least not mention cheese... even once.

Are you the same Holly who left a comment on my blog??

I've really meant to properly introduce myself for quite some time now.
Hi. I'm Holly.
I like to comment on other people's blogs.

For the most part, I am not particularly creative. I'd like to think my writing is clear and concise. In reality, I know that my writing comes out in jumbled, rambling sentences. (So bear with me as I ramble along here.)
I once tried my hand at writing fiction. I won't make that mistake again. What I'll write here will mostly be my own personal ramblings, but it will all be true and likely written similar to the way I talk. I simply do not have the knack for writing that some people possess.
I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, and my musical experience is limited to playing the flute (quite badly) in a school band, well over a decade ago. The flute has met it's demise, and so has my playing.
Photography to me is point, click, cuss that it came out funny, and try again. Occasionally I try my hand at photoshop. Even in photoshop my skills are rudimentary and laughable.
Even my humor is a little bit... off.
I don't even apply myself to my one true talent of drawing. No time. No muse. No deadline. Whatever this week's excuse might be.
Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah...
So, if I've commented on your blog, and you are showcasing a particular talent, then I have commented because I respect not only your talent but the fact that you have taken the time to share it with me.

I don't have a particular soapbox to stand on, although I do occasionally find one I'll step up to briefly. What I am, is opinionated. So, if I've commented on your blog, it may have been that you asked me for an opinion. (That'll teach you to ask strangers for answers.) Sometimes I simply cannot help myself. If I ever get too opinionated, you know, to the point that it becomes abrasive, shoot me an email. Let me know. Erase the comment. Whatever it takes to make it right for you.

Otherwise, I find people in general to be fascinating.
I pass by so many people every day, and it would be considered improper for me to ask about their occupation, or new home, or family life, or thoughts on a variety of subjects. Yet, behavior that would be considered nosey, or too forward and assuming, is simply handed to me in published form to read via internet. So, if you've written about an aspect in your life, and I've read about it, I do try to comment. Mostly just to let you know that you've shared it with someone, and that they appreciated it. If I've got anything of value to share, I'll try to leave it behind too.

So, Happy blogging, and remember...
I'm reading, and if I'm reading, I certainly will let you know.

Two hours...

Ironically, I think that was how long ago I was supposed to be asleep by now. I tried the bed thing. I had a fight with the sheets. I had a fight with a pillow. I had a fight with a small, domesticated feline that wanted to sit on my chest.
I even tried increasing the white noise in the room. I have to sleep with a noisy fan, to drown out any potential noises around me. It's a mental thing. Noises make my brain work, then it doesn't want to go to sleep. Sleep?
Ah, sleep...
... but a vague memory of yesterday.

Quitting smoking seems to have had some uncomfortable effects on my physiology. The most apparent to me, at this moment, a mere four hours from the alarm bell... sleeplessness. Work shall be spectacularly exhausting tomorrow, but I might catch up on some blogs I've been meaning to read now.